kis·met /ˈkizmit,ˈkizˌmet/ noun: kismet
destiny; fate. "what chance did I stand against kismet?"
Do you believe in Kismet? Fate? The destiny that each of us has?
Perhaps this isn't something you've given a lot of thought to among your five-year plan, your business' ten-year strategy, getting married, having babies, your children growing, more weddings, many holidays, and your grandchildren being born.
Life whips by fast.
I'm looking in the rear view mirror right now and the trail of life I've blazed is some kind of beautiful. I love the scenery; some of it is full of beautiful and bountiful life, and other parts of it are barren, drought-ridden and dark.
There are the beautiful lakes and hills where I learned to fish, live on the land and, laughed around campfires. The times when nothing else mattered, except avoiding bears, having summer crushes, rollerblading and eating ice cream on warm days. The days where the light breeze brought the smell of the earth giving life to Kinnikinnick, Twinflower, hearty pines and beautiful mosses.
There are hills and valleys, filled with shadows where I had to scrimp and dig deep to bring the basics to survive. The concrete feel of homelessness surrounding me, tall buildings and smog becoming the reality. Not knowing where I'd lay my head, whether I'd be safe, whether I was loved or wanted. There are cold rocky mountains with steep drops and sharp edges, conflict riddling the very being of who I was as I struggled to define myself as a wife, mother, businesswoman and thought leader.
There is the soft landing in white snow, cold, but welcoming, settling across the Prairies. Nature's embrace and invitation to calm, bring stability. Peace. Serenity. Much has happened in this phase of my life; fewer life lessons, but many, many memories to hang onto.
Today, as I sit with the window open in my office, I glance over my should to soak in the deluge of rain that brings cleansing energy and life to the Earth. This is a time of renewal and growth, opportunity and new beginnings. I'm laying certain things to rest, and with that comes some sorrow in letting go of the familiarity of what I've built around me.
Life is an exceptional journey, and while we work our way through it, each of us pretending to know the way to the end of the game. But really - what is the end of the game?
What are we all hustling for?
At what point do we slow down and actually enjoy the journey of life?
As one of my favourite Coaches has always said:
"The journey is the destination"
I believe in Kismet. I believe we can direct our energy and write our destiny through our actions; through respecting ourselves, our time and our intuition. I work with dozens of people a week on how to create better life experiences, and everything I know, I know from experience - either from doing it or helping guide someone through it.
Here are my top tips to get you started on directing your relationship with Kismet.
Internal dialogue & self-realization: We are who we say we are.
Everything we say to ourselves is our reality. Speak kindly. Take the time to acknowledge one positive thing about yourself each day; it could be mental, emotional, or physical. Take the time to get to know yourself, and don't be shy in self-exploration through things like writing in a journal daily, working with a coach/mentor or meditating.
Acknowledge emotional wounds: We all have baggage.
Each one of us has experienced life in our own unique way, we've all experienced things that have shaped the way we see the world, and how we respond to circumstances. These events can sometimes leave emotional wounds that can take time to heal. Taking the time to work on these emotional wounds is a key piece to living the life you want, versus living the life you have or have been given. Sometimes we're the only thing holding us back as a result of our lack of self-confidence or belief in ourselves. Sometimes this means we have to take accountability for the things we did that contributed to the emotional wounds, and in other instances, it can be simply acknowledging that these things happened .. Trauma doesn't go away, but how we cope with it matters. Make time for this.
Intuition: Listen to your gut
There is neurological science that backs intuition and how it works. Intuition falls into the limbic (reptilian) parts of our brain and tends to leave us questioning how to apply it with the more rational brain (neocortex). Intuition is an instinct that we were born with and is something that is difficult to explain; however, research has shown that the limbic system often knows the right answer to questions/problems before the neocortex system. To capitalize on working with intuition, when you have a flash (e.g.: "I should call this person" or "I should arrange this meeting"), do it in the moment or write it down. Take the time to FEEL - don't THINK. Listen to your emotions (which become more clear as you have a stronger/healthier internal dialogue, self-realization and take the time to mend emotional wounds). And lastly, know and align to your values.
Be routine but not rigid: KISS - Keep It Simple Sweetie
Have a routine, but be flexible for when things need to change. Sometimes life happens - roll with the punches. For example, if you set a goal to read 15 minutes a day, work out five times a week and call your Mom once a week, put them on your calendar to help ensure they happen - but also be willing to move things around if you need to. The basics of establishing routine could literally be:
7x week reading
5x week workout
1x a week, call Mom
Just get after it and create better and stronger habits that serve the life you want. Discipline is needed here, don't kid yourself ...
Time Management: The only thing we can't get back .... is time.
The most successful people I know realize that time is worth something; it's the one thing we can never get back. Again - this is an area that facilitates so much in terms of routine and being able to do the things that you enjoy, while still completing the things you need to do. You need discipline here - take the time to plan your day or your week and be flexible, but also ensure you follow through and show yourself that you're worth the investment.
Don't forget to celebrate when you've achieved new milestones, have completed hard tasks, or implemented any of the advice above! Recognizing our achievements gives us the opportunity to look back and see how far we've come, maybe learn some lessons and simplify our approach and of course, define the next steps of where we want to go next. Life should be a joyous experience - we individually define what celebration looks like. It could be something as simple as buying yourself a special coffee in recognition of a meeting well done, a new pair of shoes after finishing a big race, or a new pen celebrating a new job. It doesn't have to be huge parties and ticker-tape parades ... just recognize yourself. Take the time and give yourself the internal fist bump and welcome the good vibe and the next wave of opportunity that's coming your way.
Want to discuss your personal strategy for improving your relationship with Kismet? Want to discuss how to apply any of the tips above with you or your team? Reach out - a call doesn't cost a thing.